matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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