thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
