I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
4 words: hood of his car
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
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