We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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