How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
