She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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