You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize