Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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