There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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