turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
