my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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