well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
