I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
