Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
