She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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