Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
