You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
another moral hangover. fuck.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
