I wanna bring you to show and tell
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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