I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My dad is sitting where you rode me
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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