Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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