I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Two words: nipple clamps
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