Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
