Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
