Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
