I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
