They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
