Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
