well I can't set my house on fire every night
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
