he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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