5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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