Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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