You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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