He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
