she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
