absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
