Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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