You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She's the barista slut.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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