I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
