This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize