My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
