At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
A+ Viking dick
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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