but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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