I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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