is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
