So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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