I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
