were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Say something about gay babies.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
