To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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