my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize