She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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