Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
