I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
