i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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