Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
