Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
