wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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