My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize