i don't like sucking hair
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
