How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
