it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
