he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
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