Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
