I cannot find my penis.
Screwed.edu
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
