Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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