This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
