My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
