Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
