I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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