I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
