Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
