Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
